Is it better to Love...
or to be loved? I don't know the answer. One thing is for certain, I have always felt loved. Cherished even. Yes, it was (and is) an imperfect love, no doubt about it. It is deeply flawed with holes throughout-- but it has always been evident. I don't even know how exactly he proved it to me. Maybe it was the caring way he listened when I recounted the events of the week. Or the way he picked up Sophie and said, "Did Mommy give you mac and cheese for lunch today? Are you so happy?"
Maybe it was just the way he wanted my opinion about work-related (or not-s-work-related) issues. Case in point:
Just before he moved to the apartment in Ardmore, his boss invited him to bring the kids up to their lake house for a long weekend. He asked me what I thought. I said, "I think it might be fun. It's always good to have a more personal relationship with your boss, and his kids are just a bit older than ours, so I'm sure everyone will enjoy it". "Have you met his wife?" I asked. Oh yes, he said. I like her very much. In fact, I spent the day with her and their kids last time they were in NYC for the weekend. "Was John (the boss) there? I asked. He was supposed to be, but then he had to run off to an emergency board meeting so it was just me, her, the nanny and the kids. I sighed with relief, "Oh, at least the nanny was there". "Of course" he laughed and shook his head at my silly thoughts.
As I let him take my children away to a different country (albeit Canada) for a four day weekend, I felt both horrified and delighted moment to moment. It was the first time my kids were away from home overnight when they weren't with me! The most unusual part of the trip, however, was the return. The kids were obviously in major need of their own beds the minute they returned--and, although he was late getting back, he kept hanging around after I had put them down.
"So, how was the weekend?" I posed. "Well, it was really weird," he started out.
"Tell me what you think of this..." He went on to tell me how his four day weekend with his bosses family became a four-day weekend with the bosses WIFE and their children (and mine!) "It was so bizarre", he said. I got there Friday morning, and by the afternoon he tells me he's leaving to go to an Antique Car Show where some of his cars are going to be on display. The Car Show was in Toronto...the lake house was over four hours away so he probably wouldn't be back until Sunday. Although flabbergasted, Greg just said, OK (so passive) and spent the weekend with his bosses wife. "Did she come on to you????" I asked. "I don't know", he answered. "I was so afraid of being alone with her, I just went to bed as soon as I put the kids down". He then recounted a few of her comments and asked me if I thought she was coming on to him. "Of course!" I shouted. Thank God you were too afraid to do anything--can you imagine stupping your bosses wife and having to look at him everyday?"
But what the hell is going on in his head by inviting you there and then leaving? I asked. "I just don't know" Greg said. Since I had never met either of these people, I had no feeling for what their issues were.
"One thing's for certain," I laughed, "Our separation is WAY better than their marriage!" "That's for sure!" And we both had a wonderful moment of hilarity at their expense.
Even in the midst of the worst of the separation, I still felt loved!
Maybe it was just the way he wanted my opinion about work-related (or not-s-work-related) issues. Case in point:
Just before he moved to the apartment in Ardmore, his boss invited him to bring the kids up to their lake house for a long weekend. He asked me what I thought. I said, "I think it might be fun. It's always good to have a more personal relationship with your boss, and his kids are just a bit older than ours, so I'm sure everyone will enjoy it". "Have you met his wife?" I asked. Oh yes, he said. I like her very much. In fact, I spent the day with her and their kids last time they were in NYC for the weekend. "Was John (the boss) there? I asked. He was supposed to be, but then he had to run off to an emergency board meeting so it was just me, her, the nanny and the kids. I sighed with relief, "Oh, at least the nanny was there". "Of course" he laughed and shook his head at my silly thoughts.
As I let him take my children away to a different country (albeit Canada) for a four day weekend, I felt both horrified and delighted moment to moment. It was the first time my kids were away from home overnight when they weren't with me! The most unusual part of the trip, however, was the return. The kids were obviously in major need of their own beds the minute they returned--and, although he was late getting back, he kept hanging around after I had put them down.
"So, how was the weekend?" I posed. "Well, it was really weird," he started out.
"Tell me what you think of this..." He went on to tell me how his four day weekend with his bosses family became a four-day weekend with the bosses WIFE and their children (and mine!) "It was so bizarre", he said. I got there Friday morning, and by the afternoon he tells me he's leaving to go to an Antique Car Show where some of his cars are going to be on display. The Car Show was in Toronto...the lake house was over four hours away so he probably wouldn't be back until Sunday. Although flabbergasted, Greg just said, OK (so passive) and spent the weekend with his bosses wife. "Did she come on to you????" I asked. "I don't know", he answered. "I was so afraid of being alone with her, I just went to bed as soon as I put the kids down". He then recounted a few of her comments and asked me if I thought she was coming on to him. "Of course!" I shouted. Thank God you were too afraid to do anything--can you imagine stupping your bosses wife and having to look at him everyday?"
But what the hell is going on in his head by inviting you there and then leaving? I asked. "I just don't know" Greg said. Since I had never met either of these people, I had no feeling for what their issues were.
"One thing's for certain," I laughed, "Our separation is WAY better than their marriage!" "That's for sure!" And we both had a wonderful moment of hilarity at their expense.
Even in the midst of the worst of the separation, I still felt loved!
posted by Ask Me Anything at Sunday, October 28, 2007
5 Comments:
That's our Greggy for you!
You did NOT post this 10/28, right? I swear I've checked about a million times since then!
Glad you are back! LOVE your blog!
love. More.
Sooo happy to see you back! I love the ebb and flow of this relationship and there is always a message buried inside. More please!
Great post.
Another one you have to hit over the head with a brick, huh?
"Stupping?" : )
Great story, so funny. People are so weird.
You did NOT post this on 10/28, I am sure of it. I would have noticed sooner.
Big love.
"Even in the midst of the worst of the separation, I still felt loved!"
Wow! Sadly, even in the best of my marriage, I still felt unloved. Guess that is why yours survived and mine did not! Your feeling of being loved in spite of the circumstances was a big and wonderful sign of something worth saving! A lot of information in that little sentence of yours! :-)
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