Tornadoes

Perhaps a time or two I've been described as a tornadoe. I can blow up out of nowhere and surprise those "hit" by me. As such, I also die down incredibly quickly--but I'm always surprised by the damage caused by such a quick storm. I apologize. Often. More often than someone of my age and intelligence level should NEED to apologize. It's hard on me. If only I could collect my thoughts, deliver them thoughtfully and caringly and listen conciously for the response. In fact, so often my message is completely on point--but it gets lost in the whirlwind of frenzied delivery and subsequent apology. I hate having to apologize. It's draining.

This is one of my "issues". I have touched on some of my others--but only in passing. Greg's, of course, have been described in vivid detail. The slowness, the unapologetic lack of knowing the time, the love of buying "stuff". (Okay, maybe I haven't gone into our Purchasing Department aka Greg--but that's for another blog) Suffice it to say, we both have our issues and through our separation actually had the opportunity to look at them long and hard--and make decisions accordingly.

When a relationship is in a downward spiral, it is unbelievably difficult to differentiate the buggy and annoying qualities of someone else from the deal breakers. My deal-breakers: Respect and Responsibility. When we separated, our marriage was in short supply of both. Turned out, although he was the one lacking responsibility, I was the one lacking respect. At the time, I felt because my message was valid, my delivery was completely justifiable. Turns out I was wr...wro...ok wrong.

I wish I could say I lost my nickname. I haven't. But I have been downgraded from a "warning" to a "watch"