Waiting
Ever have to wait in line to buy something? Ever have to wait on hold for customer service? Ever have to wait for a friend to finish getting ready before you go out? Waiting? NOT my forte.
I am a hustler; not a waiter. I have the patience of a gnat. I have left job interviews because people kept me waiting 11 minutes (I begrudgingly give 10 in a professional setting). I have driven more than an hour out of my way in order to keep moving rather than sit in a traffic jam. I'm the kid who was always finished a test first--I never reviewed my answers. I have hung up on countless people who have put me "on hold". For me, waiting is death. (Which is why I'm sure I'll end up in limbo.)
So, of course, in this strange and ironic world, I married Job. Seriously--the one from the Bible. The one who could literally wait until the cows came home. The one who prepares for every possible alternate situation no matter how long it takes. The man who truly has no concept of time. None.
Why did I choose this agony? My outward, impatient self would never have done it. It was that tricky subconcious at work. It's because God gives us obstacles (over and over again!) until we figure out a critical life lesson.
For the three years we dated, I waited for him to pick me up. He was always late. In this case, ALWAYS is not an exaggeration. For the first three years of marriage, I waited for him to come home from work. Another waiting game. More importantly, I was waiting for him to grow up; to put his family before himself, to become a responsible adult. The waiting continued. When I finally left, I waited for him to realize I was not calling a bluff, I was serious about his behavior within the marriage. I was sure he would 'get it' then.
There is still another lesson in all of this I have not yet gotten--I know it has something to do with Patience being a virtue.
But at that time, I realized that no one can live in the moment when waiting. Waiting, by its very nature, takes you out of the now and into the future. Separation forced me to stop waiting. And start living.
I am a hustler; not a waiter. I have the patience of a gnat. I have left job interviews because people kept me waiting 11 minutes (I begrudgingly give 10 in a professional setting). I have driven more than an hour out of my way in order to keep moving rather than sit in a traffic jam. I'm the kid who was always finished a test first--I never reviewed my answers. I have hung up on countless people who have put me "on hold". For me, waiting is death. (Which is why I'm sure I'll end up in limbo.)
So, of course, in this strange and ironic world, I married Job. Seriously--the one from the Bible. The one who could literally wait until the cows came home. The one who prepares for every possible alternate situation no matter how long it takes. The man who truly has no concept of time. None.
Why did I choose this agony? My outward, impatient self would never have done it. It was that tricky subconcious at work. It's because God gives us obstacles (over and over again!) until we figure out a critical life lesson.
For the three years we dated, I waited for him to pick me up. He was always late. In this case, ALWAYS is not an exaggeration. For the first three years of marriage, I waited for him to come home from work. Another waiting game. More importantly, I was waiting for him to grow up; to put his family before himself, to become a responsible adult. The waiting continued. When I finally left, I waited for him to realize I was not calling a bluff, I was serious about his behavior within the marriage. I was sure he would 'get it' then.
There is still another lesson in all of this I have not yet gotten--I know it has something to do with Patience being a virtue.
But at that time, I realized that no one can live in the moment when waiting. Waiting, by its very nature, takes you out of the now and into the future. Separation forced me to stop waiting. And start living.
posted by Ask Me Anything at Thursday, December 28, 2006
11 Comments:
Wow! What a great lesson.
You just summed it all up. Everything that I have been trying to teach myself; you just beautifully clarified! Stop waiting, start living.... perfect New Year's resolution! Thanks
Yeh, love those lessons. Being hit over the head over and over until we finally get it. Great post Terry.
so interesting. i always feel that way. your insight in the last graph is really something i am going to bear in mind. terry, i'll tell ya, you're making a run for "the most interesting woman i met this year" award. you've only got two more days to pull it out.
happy new year! xoxo
Amanda, OH NO, The PRESSURE!
No contest, Amanda, Terry IS the most interesting person alive! FUNNY, too, OMG, SO funny! Glad she finally started writing, started sharing the wealth!
I so GET you on the waiting. i'll walk 40 blocks before i'll stand at bus stop waiting ... and i'm loving learning patience
and
"all good things in all good time"
That last paragraph is so insightful. What a valuable lesson.
Happy 2007!
What a great post. I have really been enjoying your blog over the last few days.
I have a second one myself, that I'd like to share with you(you'd maybe have to go back a bit to understand it all):
http://uplateinportland.blogspot.com
Thank you!
Jess--I have--and I can not believe your raw honesty and extreme talent. The way in which you had such an inability to communicate with someone you loved is so much of what I went through.
Fantastic - you're awesome.
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