Missing Pieces

From my own experience, and from witnessing those I am close enough to catch a glimpse, I believe all marriages have missing pieces.

There is this whole "you complete me" horseshit most of us have been brought up to believe. Guess what. You don't complete me. I complete me. You complete you. We can't complete each other. Not possible. Who knew?

As Greg and I were contemplating reuniting, we came to this realization. We were not here to complete one another, but to see if we might assist one another in the onerous task of completing ourselves.

In additon, there are a couple of missing pieces you don't know about Greg:

He's a Learner. Capital L. If there is a topic of interest to him (or to me--or to you) he will learn more about that topic than most professors who teach it. Over the years, he has taught himself to be a plumber, an electrician, a veterinarian, a scuba diver, a movie-maker, a set designer, a furniture maker, a tree-house builder, an oceanographer, an IT expert, a feng shui practitioner, a sailor, an animator, a piano player. I am sure I am missing a few, I kid you not.

He's a Teacher. If you are a slow learner, he's your man. He will explain, draw, diagram, write or act it out until you get it. Doesn't matter how long it takes. He'll stick with you until it's clear you understand.

He Loves Animals. Every morning he wakes up, and before doing anything else, he lies down on the floor next to the stretched out mutt and pets her for 10 minutes. A full ten. Sometimes fifteen if I don't remind him to shower. He feeds the cat even though he gags at the smell, cleans poo, and takes the bird to the aviary vet. That's love.

He Loves Children--especially babies and toddlers. Whenever we are at a family get-together or a neighborhood gathering, and there is a cranky baby, the mom searches out Greg. He walks, rocks, and bounces until that baby is fast asleep. He'll even continue to hold it for the rest of the evening. He is a new mother's dream.

He Takes One for the Team. When I don't want to do something, but don't want to be honest about it, he lets me blame him. No problem. He's fine with it. He'd much rather have my comfort in any given moment than worry about what someone else thinks of him. When I first started this blog, he said, "Am I going to come off looking like a real asshole in this thing?" "yes", I answered, "there's no doubt about that--and if you aren't comfortable, I will not blog about it, end of story". He thought about it for less than a minute. "no" he said, "I was a real asshole". "Go ahead and talk about it--it's the truth"

He Apologizes. Sincerely. When he says or does something that hurts me, he really is sorry; and says so. You don't have to pull it out of him. He "gets it". Every year it's easier for us to treat one another with care and to apologize before anything gets out of hand. Having let ourselves dig such a big hole in the past, we work hard at making sure we don't do it again.

He Adores Me. By far, his best quality. He really thinks I'm "It on a Stick" and more. Whenever I do something I'm not proud of--I immediately turn to him for solace. He never beats me up--he consoles and doesn't judge. I truly feel loved unconditionally. Unbelievable.

He's still working on completing himself, as I am on me. But these are some of pieces of him I love and wanted to share.